My name is Elle, or sometimes Elle Rose. I’m a 28 year old demisexual and graysexual writer and educator. When I’m not writing I’m usually watching a horror movie or listening to a horror story podcast. I also like to take walks in graveyards and hang out with my cats, who are always following me no matter what room I’m in.

I think I must have been in high school when I first knew it was sound that bothered me. Before, I would become very irritable but not completely understand why. My dad was a carpenter so I spent a lot of weekends listening to his music and tools growing up. I remember when I was a sophomore in high school I was in history class and I started plugging my ears when reviewing for quizzes and it clicked — sound was what had bugged me, even little sounds.

I can’t filter sound correctly and so small things to someone else can actually cause me to sort of short circuit. I’m not sure how else to describe it. When my neighbors are playing especially loud music, for example (I live in apartments), I can’t focus on my work or on anything until I can block it out. I’ll put on white noise on my headphones and turn on fans and put in the calmer by flare to help my brain calm down. If I don’t, I get extremely agitated and can’t focus. Sometimes I even get physically tired. It’s a lot.
I’ve learned instead to work around stuff. Like with the podcasts — I use over the ear headphones as often as I can. The “noise cancelling” earbuds rarely cancel noise, or I’m too sensitive to sound to notice. I watch TV and movies with subtitles whenever possible. I even ask for audio enhancing headphones at the movies. At work when I’m on phones (part of my job is calling people and answering phones) I have to adjust the volume constantly. It’s like I have super hearing, but unlike Dare Devil I can’t sort out what is coming from where.

It’s helped in so many areas. At work, I put them in my ears before I use the phones. They literally ease stress, it’s incredible. When things are too loud around family, I can pop them in and POOF — I can talk but now I’m not dealing with the exhausting experience of filtering as much. They even help in driving if traffic gets particularly loud. I carry them with me everywhere. If I find myself distressed by sound, I can pop them in and almost feel calmer immediately. It’s like if you were trying to sleep and there was a crying baby next door and you popped in ear plugs and could sleep. In my life, the crying baby is just sound, and these are my ear plugs that help me focus and function.